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Thursday, August 10, 2006 Beware of the signsA wise woman once said,
Think about that quote for a second. Whether you're married or in a relationship, remember the time when you've given up all the things you hold dear for the other person. You said to yourself, "I'M IN LOVE!!! The rest, I don't care." So a week has gone by. You find yourself smiling for no reason. You start saying HI to strangers. You stare at the mirror 10 minutes longer. You start listening to Clay Aiken even though you hate it. You keep your phone close by just in case he calls. You are dating Mr. Wonderful. He's tall, a jock, with blue eyes. When you go out to dinner, he opens the car door for you. He tells you, "Honey, you look beautiful." In the restaurant, he listens to every words that are coming out of your mouth. He laughs at every funny things you tell him. He pays a close attention to your needs. Now fast forward to six months. You're madly in love with him. This time all of your dreams consist of his face. You start picturing what would your future like with him. What your children look like. What your house looks like. You start to daydream about a pink house with a white picket fence, 2 kids ( a boy and a girl), and a dog..maybe a cat. But the only different thing this time is... the phone rings once a month..maybe twice. He doesn't remember your birthday. You find yourself sitting in your living room waiting for him to pick you up for a date... 1 hour..2 hours.. he didn't come. And tears running down your cheeks. You're mad. You feel stupid for putting on a cute dress, curl your hair in a special way. All for him. Just for him to like you back. And one day, he accidentaly shows up on your door step. Somehow he doesn't look the same anymore. He forgets to shave, his clothes smell like weed, his breath smells like alcohol. He is not Mr. Wonderful anymore. But you're still in love with him. And you make a vow to take care of him. You say to yourself, "It's probably just a phase. He's going through a rough time and I'm going to help him." So that's what you do. You help him get better. Only he doesn't get better, ever. He starts to call you names, forget your birthday, forget your anniversary, forget to call you, forget about your dates. He comes in and out of your life as he please. He treats you like a piece of garbage. and you let him. Because you love him. and he kicks you out of his car...to walk back home in the middle of a cold winter night because he was high and drunk. The man has finally kicked you in the curb...It was 3 years ago since you've met him. 3 years of waiting, and hoping and praying for him to have finally realized how much you loved him, to realize that he needs to love you back. But why did she need 3 years to finally realized that he doesn't deserve her? Because she doesn't realized that she cannot change a person who doesn't want to change. that a man cannot teach a pig to sing. There were road signs all pointed to a heartbreak. She chose to close her eyes and proceed with caution. All because of love.
It's true. That woman was me. But I've learned as time's gone by. I've learned when to give love, when to walk away from love. I've learned to pay attention to the signs. I've learned to listen to my intuition. The colored lens glasses have finally come off. And I can see love better from the end of the tunnel.
do it my style at { 12:26 PM } Thursday, August 11, 2005  Me time. When was the last time you have one? For me, "Me Time" is a must. If I didn't have one I'd be crazy by now..krrraaazaaay!!! Like wanting to pull my hair out, crazy.. like want to chew my hand off and throw it to people crazy..like wanna bite my toe nails crazy (ewww...who does that??). You get the idea of how crazy I can get. Oprah once told me (errr..to the world actually.he.he...) that she gets too tired of hearing people's stories. Good, bad, happy, sad, anything & everything. She'd go home and take everything in personally to the point that she can't function. So her solution is to take herself out of the commotion to gain sanity. She'd imagine herself stepping out of the conversation and be in her own world (in the head so to speak). So what's going on in your life? If you say "My life is pefect"- then great!! I am happy for you. But even when you don't have trouble in your world, don't say that you've never felt exhausted for the hustle and bustle of people pulling you left and right. Damn demands!! They should put people in jail for making demands. What would life be without demands??? It would be boring. B-O-R-I-N-G. It's just too easy. Like a bird flying away in the blue sky without smashing itself into a clear window, like the ducks crossing the street peacefully without getting smashed by a Toyota...and we'd all be sleeping until noon, forget the traffic and stoopid boss and the guy next to your cubicle who laughs like a hyena. But it's real life, people!!! People drive you crazy. The bills drive you crazy. Your adorable kids drive you crazy sometimes ;) yelling mommy mommy mommy mommy!!!!!!!. Stupid vacuum cleaner that doesn't work. The mall that closes too damn early. Nicorette patch that doesn't work. Your husband just leave dirty clothes all over the living room. You bought the wrong color lipstick. You gain 20 pounds. You notice a new cellulite on your butt. You don't understand a single guy in the world. You're still wondering why guys still watches porn it just drives you baloney. They all sell jeans that hangs low half your ass. They sell thongs way cheaper than fully covered butt underwear at Vickies. You wonder and ponder, trying to understand what the hell is going on with the world. You become sick, and tired and exhausted. So this is what I do. I shut the door to the world. 4 hours a week of ME TIME!!! Cell phone off. Leave a message..I am getting my sanity back. Go to thrift stores . The price doesn't drive me crazy. Who cares about the smell of thrift stores?? I don't.. F**k yucky smell. You'd be surprise of what you'll find there. A belt of $1.00, shoes for $3.00 Go to the ice cream parlor by yourself. Order your favorite ice cream. Tell the Atkins diet people to go to hell. Ear muffs...lalalalalalalalalala... I am not listening. What??? I can't hear you. 1 scoop of ice cream with 100 calories...watch me. I am having 2 scoops with hot fudge, caramel, oreos, sprinkles. Sue me. Hand me a napkin, will ya? Go to arts & crafts store by yourself. Go make a pottery. You'd be surprise by getting you hands dirty can relax you. Go ahead spin.. spin the clay. Put any color you want. Forget the color wheel. F**k that shit. Make your own bracelet.. sell it on ebay for more price..he.he.he. Go to the book store. Sit down and read whatever you wanna read. Kamma sutra, Harry Potter..whateverrrr you want. Who's stopping you. Grab everything and read..read.. read.. what you like. Not some stuff that people recommend you on the internet. Forget reviews. Go to the movie theatre BY YOURSELF. In your pajamas if you have to with your furry slippers and pig tails. Buy popcorn and smother it with extra butter. Chose whatever movie you feel like watching. Sit there alone. Laugh out loud!! Cry out loud. Hey- I am not here to judge. Go talk to strangers. Believe me, it works. Your bestfriends can annoy you sometimes, your mom, your sister, your brother, your boyfriend. Talking to a complete stranger brings a new atmosphere. Of course I am not telling you to go to a creepy guy from the street. I mean cashiers at the grocery store, the lady who shampoo your hair at the salon. Ask about their day, talk about nothing at all, be silly. Hey-they're stangers. Chances are, you won't see them again. We all need to have "Me Time" Hafta hafta hafta.. do whatever you want. You don't have to go out of your house. Just lock your bedroom door and dance to a stupid song NAKED!! Go ahead!! Go!!!..no one is watching. Ear muffs to the world. LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA.......I can't hear you!!!! |